Lucky Number 11
by Nicko Fox Zane
Summary: Wanna see how hard it will be to plan Sasuke and Sakura's wedding? What about how 'troublesome' their family will be? Bunch of one shots from wedding to ending. About ten chapters of short one shots. Funny.
1. Chapter 1

"Question."

**"Sasuke."**

_"Sakura."_

----

"So, Uchiha-San. Haruno-San. How many kids do you think you would want?"

**"As many as possible."**

_"In your dreams. One boy, one girl."_

"Ok. So, any kinds of food you have in mind?"

**"Sweet."**

_"Hot and Spicy."_

"Favorite time of year?"

**"Spring."**

_"Fall."_

"Um, favorite time for missions?"

**"Fall."**

_"Spring."_

"... How do you do in large groups?"

**"Horrible."**

_"Great."_

"Favorite color?"

**"Blue."**

_"Red."_

"Yin or Yang?"

**"Yin."**

_"Yang."_

"... Perfect... well... I only have one things to say."

_**"Yes?"**_

"How the HELL did you two end up together? You both are impossible. I can't do your wedding. I'm leaving." Ino growled and left.

**Sasuke** and _Sakura _blinked and looked at each other.

_"That's the 10th person we've been though."_

**"... Lucky number 11?"**

_"Hopefully..."_

--

I was bored.


	2. Chapter 2

**"Sasuke."**

_"Sakura."_

"Other."

_**---**_

_"Sasuke!"_

**"Hn?"**

_"Where's our son?!"_

**"Shouldn't you be watching him?"**

_"I told you that I was going to the store!!!"_

**"... Hn..."**

_"Get off your butt and find him!"_

**"... To troublesome..."**

_"And stop stealing Shikamaru's line."_

**"Tai? Where are you?"**

"Daddy! I can fly!!!"

**"Huh...?**

"YAY!"

**"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"**

_"What?! What's going--- OMG! Tai!"_

**"It's ok, I got him."**

_"He jumped out the window!"_

**"Oh... my... Kami... He's slipping!"**

_"Pull him up!"_

"Mommy! Daddy! It's ok! I can fly!"

**"No honey! YOU CAN'T FLY!!!"**

_"The last time this happened we had to take parenting classes for a month!"_

**"OMG I DROPPED HIM!"**

_"WHAT?!?!?!?"_

**"Hehehe... just kidding..."**

_"Grrrr, Sasuke!"_

**"Ouch! You didn't have to hit me!**

_"Pull him up, NOW!"_

**"Ok, ok."**

"Mommy, Daddy! Can we get some ice cream now?"

**"After what you did? No."**

"B-B-B-But! The Nara kid told me that if I could fly then I would get ice scream!"

_**"Note to self. Kill The Nara's."**_

**---**


	3. Chapter 3

**"Sasuke."**

_"Sakura."_

"Tai."

_**---**_

"Mommy, Daddy..."

_**"Yes?"**_

"Um..."

**"Just tell us Tai."**

"Um......."

_"Are you ok? Your face is getting red."_

"Well... I was wondering... where do babies come from?"

**"...?!?!"**

_"........."_

**"Um... yeah... Your mother will explain that. Bye!"**

_"Sasuke! You traitor!!!"_

**"Nothing new!"**

_"..."_

"Mommy...?"

_"Well... um... when there's a girl... and... uh..."_

"...?"

_"Oh! Look at the time! I better get dinner started!"_

"B-B-But!"

_"Who even told you about that?"_

"... The Hyuga's..."

_"..."_

"Mommy?"

_"Neji or Hinata?"_

"Neji-San."

_"... Diner's gonna be a little late today..."_

**"Sakura? Where are you going?"**

_"I'm going to visit Neji and Tenten."_

**"Why?"**

_"No reason... no reason at all..."_

"Daddy! I'm scared!"

**"Me too..."**


	4. Chapter 4

**"Sasuke."**

_"Sakura."_

"Tai."

_**---**_

"Daddy? You ok?"

**"Um... Tai, son, I need to ask you something."**

"Yes?"

**"Well... why is your mother mad at me?"**

"Oh, silly Daddy! She's mad because you forgot about today!"

**"About what?"**

"You mean... you forgot?"

**"Forgot what?"**

"... Daddy, you're evil..."

**"...???"**

"Daddy forgot Mommy's special day!!!"

_"Heh, of course he did."_

"Hi Mommy!"

**"Hi."**

_"Don't talk to me Sasuke. Come on Tai. Let's get some ice cream."_

**"And tomat---"**

_"Get your own."_

"Oooooooo! Mommy mad!"

**"ABOUT WHAT?!... Hello...? Anyone here? Ugh! They left me!!!"**

_**Ten Minutes Later...**_

"Hi Daddy!!!"

**"Tai, what's Mommy's special day?"**

"That's easy!"

**"Well?"**

"... Well what?"

**"What is it?"**

"What is what?"

**"Mommy's special day."**

"Oh! It's Mommy and Daddy's anniversary!"

**"... Oops..."**

"Daddy! Where are you going?"

**"Daddy has to get a present for Mommy and say sorry!"**

"Silly Daddy!" Tai then giggled cutely and skipped down the hallway while eating his ice cream. "I wonder what Daddy will get Mommy..."

_**Half hour later...**_

**"Sakura!"**

_"What?"_

**"Here!"**

_"... What the hell is this?"_

**"Your present."**

_"Sasuke... this is a picture that Tai drew."_

**"... No..."**

_"Then why does it say, "From Tai, To Mommy!" In 5 year old hand writing? Oh and why does it have a stick figure on it?"_

**"... Happy Anniversary..."**

_"You remembered!!! Aw, that's all I ever wanted! For you to remember!"_

**Smirk.**

**"Sasuke Uchiha is the best."**

"Nuh-Uh! Daddy did forget!"

_"... I'm going to bed. Hope you don't mind sleeping with the dogs."_

**"We don't have a dog."**

_"Well, Kiba does and he said that if you ever forget our anniversary that you could sleep at his house. Better got before it gets to dark because you're not sleeping near me."_

**"B-But!"**

**Sigh.**

"Bye Daddy! See you tomorrow!!!"


	5. Chapter 5

_**Thanks luvgoodstuf for helping me with this! If you are confused as to what I'm talking about, then simply read and you should catch what I mean.**_

**"Sasuke."**

_"Sakura."_

"Tai."

"Naruto."

_**---**_

"Hi Mommy! Daddy!"

**"Hey."**

_"Hi sweetie!"_

"Mommy..."

_"Yes?"_

"Friendship is like peeing on yourself. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth and joy it brings."

**Chokes on tomato.**

_Blushes._

Smiles.

**"Where did you get that from?"**

"The Hokage!"

_"Naruto is a baka..."_

"Hokage-Sama is AWESOME!"

**"Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever, you keep on talking."**

"That was mean Daddy... Hey Mommy...?"

_"Yes?"_

"So, if a pig and a pigeon 'mate,' is it possible for them to have flying pigs as children?" (Thanks luvgoodstuf for telling me about this one xD)

**Chokes on drink.**

_Sighs._

Smiles.

_"How long where you over at Naruto's office?"_

"Few hours."

**"... Just great..."**

Knock Knock.

_"Hello?"_

"Hi Sakura-Chan! Teme! Tai!"

**"..."**

_"..."_

"Hi!!!"

Laughs.

_... Giggles..._

"Ha! I knew Sakura-Chan would laugh if I did!"

_"... Naruto... If you laugh, I will laugh. If you cry, I will cry. And if you jump out of the window, I will laugh."_

"..."

**Smirks.**

**"Nice."**

_"Hey Naruto...?"_

"Yes?"

_"You're so weird, has anyone ever told you that?"_

"Yes. You do. Every day. Remember?"

"Can we get ice cream?"

**"We get ice cream in almost every chapter."**

"... So...?"

_"Eh, why not?"_

_**"Yayz!!!"**_

**"Tomato's FTW!!!"**

_"... You're so weird, has anyone ever told you that?"_

**"... Yes..."**

"Silly Daddy!"

Giggles.

***I'm making a picture of what Tai looks like so I'll let you people know when it's done.**


	6. Chapter 6

**"Sasuke."**

_"Sakura."_

"Tai."

_**---**_

_"Hey Sasuke."_

**"Yes Sakura?"**

_"In the last chapter of _Lucky Number 11_, there was I joke I was confused about."_

**"And what would that be?"**

_"Wait, before I get to that, I have a different question."_

**"Hn?"**

_"What does our son look like?"_

**"Not sure. But I know where we can find out."**

_"Where?"_

**"On **_**Tabby Luvs Neji Ita Naru Gaa's**_** page there should be a link next to Pictures: Tai Uchiha."**

_"Ok! I'll check it our after this chapter!"_

**"Hn..."**

_"Oh yeah! That brings me back to my other question!!!"_

**"Yeah?"**

_"... if a pig and a pigeon 'mate,' is it possible for them to have flying pigs as children?"_

**"..."**

_"Seriously!!! What is the answer to that?!"_

**"Hn... I don't know..."**

_"TO THE INTERNET!!!"_

**"..."**

_Clicking random things._

_"Hm..."_

**"Try clicking on 'Flying Pigs'."**

_"Ugh! That website doesn't have the answer!"_

**"Wait. I have a better idea."**

_"Tell me!"_

**"We will have the readers help us out."**

_"Yeah!!!"_

**"... Hn..."**

_"Ok, you readers! The first one to review gets put in the next chapter! Wait... actually... the first person to review some kind of answer that seems to make sense about the whole 'bird and pig children' get's put in the next chapter."_

**"But it has to make sence."**

_"Yes! And even if it doesn't, you're reviews will be mentioned by the one and only... Tai!!!"_

"Yayz!!!"

**"So start ruining your brain and start thinking."**

_"Don't think to much!"_

**"You might hurt yourself."**

_"Oh yeah! One more rule!"_

**"What would that be?"**

_"You're review about the flying pig thing has to be age appropriate. Don't start going 'The pig had sex and then the pigeon started getting---'"_

"Mommy, what does that word mean?"

_"Um... what word?"_

"Sex?"

_"Um... no..."_

**Smirks.**

_..._

Confused.

"Ok! Well you know the rules! Bye bye! Oh and don't forget to look at the picture of me!"

_**"Bye!!!"**_


	7. Chapter 7

**"Sasuke."**

_"Sakura."_

"Tai."

"Naruto"

_**---**_

_"Ok Tai! You know what to do!"_

"Yup!!! Ok! We had the readers review what they thought about the who 'pig and pigeon' thing. Before we announce the winner, we will first answer to the reviews."

**"First luvgoodstuf."**

_"Sasuke, you want to answer this one?"_

**"... We think that yours was good, but it doesn't really answer the question. Here's the review."**

**well, in laboratory's there are these test pieces of animals of all kinds...**

**and when some crazy scientist decides it's time to mess up with the animal**

**kind, there are some consequences, pretty BAD consequences!! mutant animals**

**like flying pigs, unicorns, big butted fuzzy pigeons, branchian cats with tree**

**tail and 18 eyes and many, MANY, other crazyngly stupid and scary things**

**-shuders-**

**"That is the comment. Nothing changed."**

_"Thanks for reviewing, but please comment and explain more!!!!"_

**"Sakura, you get the next."**

_"Ok!!! This is -xEMOtIoNaLLyCOnSTipaTEDx-. This person's review was for a different chapter, but we still want to reply to it."_

_this could turn out pretty interesting. you need to work on exaggeration and_

_those stuff. update soon!_

_"This **will** turn out pretty interesting! But... Tabby Luvs Neji Ita Naru Gaa doesn't really understand what you mean by working on the exaggeration and stuff."_

**"The story was meant to just be a one shot called 'Lucky Number 11' because of the first chapter, but it became more then that. 10 to 15 is the max chapters. She has more important things to do then to make a whole long chapter so she just simply wrote what you read."**

_"Yeah and it's her birthday May 17th!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Oh wait... I wasn't supposed to tell..." (Max: Hehehe... I'm Max and I corrupted this authors story and put this xDDD Woot! I'm her friend!)_

**"... Oh and she would like you to review again and please explain more of what you meant. It would help her in her story writing."**

_"Thanks for the review! Wait... wow! Sasuke said more then three things!!!"_

**"Hn..."**

_"It was cool while it lasted."_

**"Tai, want to take over the next one?"**

"Yeah! Ok, this one is about me!!!"

OMG

tai has Brown Hair!

damn I was really hoping he had light pink strands like sakura's

hehehehe

"Actually, I don't have brown hair. It's a very dark red because it's a mix of Mommy's and Daddy's! And pink is SO for girls!"

**--Whisper-- "Not in front of your mom."**

"Yes Daddy."

_... "I heard that."_

**"Well, it's true. Boys should stick to dark colors... not including Naruto. He's not a boy or girl He's an **_**it**_**."**

_"A thing."_

**"Yes. He falls under the category of **_**Things **_**and **_**Its**_**."**

"Ok! I get the point!!!"

**"Ok, well it's been two days and Tabby Luvs blah blah blah doesn't feel like waiting any longer because she has things to do."**

_"No one really answered the question, but that's ok. Tabby asked her teachers and friends! All except for one teacher said 'I don't know.'._

**"He said something about both species would make a Pigseon, not a Fly Pig."**

"Oh yeah! The winner. I'm sorry, but there was no winner. No one answered the question and Tabby can't wait any longer."

** "Now onto the real chapter."**

_**---**_

_**Day Full Of Retarded Sayings.**_

_**---**_

**"Hey Naruto."**

"HI!!!!!! Me and Tai found out that pigs and Pigeons would make a Pigseon, not a Fly Pig!!!"

**"Everyday I think people can't get any stupider, and everyday I'm proven horribly wrong."**

"..."

"Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!!!"

**"What?"**

"Mommy is destroying the house because I told the truth! They say the truth will set you free. But then why is it that every time I tell the truth I get sent to my room?"

**"... Sigh..."**

_BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!_

**"Sakura! We need the house--- OMG! What did you go?! You destroyed the house!!!"**

_"... Destroy is such a strong word! I prefer redecorated for free."_

"Mommy, Naruto is here!!!"

_"Hi Naruto."_

"Hi! Me and Tai figured out that pigs and pigeons make Pigseons!"

_"... Kami loves you. The rest of us think you're an idiot."_

"..."

"In school I found out that Life is like God's way of kicking your sorry ass out of heaven and yelling, AND DON'T COME BACK!!'. Death, is like God's way of dragging you back up to heaven by your collar, mumbling, 'Okay, I think you've done enough damage...'."

_**...**_

**"Who's your teacher?"**

"The Nara guy."

_"Shikamaru..."_

"He also said 'Scientists say 1 out of every 4 people is crazy. Check 3 friends, if they are okay, you're it.'"

**"... coughNarutocough..."**

"Huh?"

**"Nothing."**

_"I think that the When Live Gives You Lemons, You Make Lemonade was stupid. So I have two of my own! When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how in seven hells you did it. Oh and, If life hands you lemons today, smile and give thanks. Then, when life isn't looking, give him a quick knee to the groin. That'll teach 'em."_

**Chuckles.**

_Grins._

Confused.

"What's that?"

_"What's what?"_

"A gro--"

_"Nothing..."_

"It's getting late. Bye!!!"

_"Bye!"_

**"... Hn..."**

"Bye!!!"


	8. Chapter 8

**"Sasuke."**

_"Sakura."_

"Tai."

CHAPTER 8!!!

_**---**_

"Mom, why are you crying?"

_Crys even more._

**"Sakura, please don't cry."**

"Yeah, please mom."

_"--sniff-- My baby's growing up!"_

"Mom, is that why you're crying?"

_Nods. "It was just like 7 chapters ago you were just calling me Mommy."_

**"Because it---"**

_Crys._

"Mom, please stop! I'll be home in a few hours. I'm just going on a mission."

_"Ok. Bye..."_

**"See ya."**

"Bye!!!"

_Sigh._

**...**

_"Our little boy is getting old."_

**"He's 12."**

_"HE'S GETTING OLD I TELL YOU!!!"_

**"..."**

_"I'm just glad that our family will be a stable one."_

**"It wasn't really our choice. It was the author--"**

_"A stable family._

_Glares at Sasuke._

**"Hn."**

_"I think Tai likes the girl from Sand."_

**"Gaara's kid?"**

_"Yeah! She is just so sweat! They should dat--"_

**"No."**

_"But--"_

**"**_**No**_**."**

_"Ok... what about Naruto's kid?"_

**"No."**

_"Why not? She's really sweet and--"_

**"**_**No**_**."**

_"Shesh. Protective much?"_

**"Hn."**

_"Whatever. Just think! Years ago you were a revenge driven emotionless boy."_

**"..."**

_"Not everything has changed."_

**"Don't forget. You weren't the strongest girl around."**

_"To error is human."_

**"Yeah, yeah."**

"I'm home early!"

_**"Why?"**_

"Our sensei had a mission."

_"You look mad."_

"Because I have an idiot on my team."

**"Really?"**

"Yeah, he kept yelling, "YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW ME!" ... So I said, 'Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk besides me either. Just leave me the hell alone!"

_"Watch your language."_

**Smirks and gives Tai a high five.**

**"Good job."**

"Hi everyone!"

_**"Hey Naruto."**_

"Someone stole my shoes..."

"The sayings goes... 'Whenever you feel angry at someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you're a mile away from them...AND YOU HAVE THEIR SHOES! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"..."

_"..."_

**"..."**

"What?"

_**"Nothing."**_

"Hey dad, Here's a problem I need answered.

There are 8 sticks to begin with, and two players take turns removing them. Player 1 moves first. Each player must pick up at least one and no more than three sticks on their turn. The player who takes the last stick wins.

One player can always force a win.

Questions:

a) Who wins this game?

b) If the game starts with N sticks who can force a win? This should be a simple if N is _____ then player 1 wins, and work for all N.

c) Who wins a game with N sticks where taking the last stick means you lose?

d) Find all values of N such that player 1 can force a win, no matter which version he's playing."

**"... A wise man once said, 'I don't know - go ask a woman.'"**

"Mom?"

_"Um... That's easy." Starts explaining._

"Oh! Ok! Well, I'm tired. Bye!"


	9. Chapter 9

**"Sasuke."**

_"Sakura."_

"Tai."

_**---**_

"Tai says hi!"

**"Um... Hi?"**

_"Morning."_

"Tai has been up for a while!"

_"Why are you talking in third person?"_

"What? What are you talking about? I wasn't talking in third person."

**"..."**

_"... Ok then."_

"Tai's hungry! Can Mom make some food for Tai?"

_"Sure..."_

**"Why the hell are you talking in third person?"**

"What are you talking about? Are you feeling ok?"

**"..."**

_"..."_

"Tai want's to know if Tai can go outside and play with Tai's friends!"

_**"STOP TALKING IN THIRD PERSON!!!"**_

"Shesh! Something is wrong with you guys. I'm NOT talking in third person."

Leaves.

_**Few Hours Later**_

**"Ok, Tai are you ready?"**

"Yes."

**"You are old enough to learn how to run the Uchiha Clan for when I get old and die."**

"Ok, I'm listening!"

**"Being the cops of Konoha you have to every day go to the police station and work. You will have lots of paper work and people to talk to. If there is a very important case then you will be sent out to help take care of that problem. That will happen a lot. On your break you have to patrol for a few minutes and then enjoy the rest of your few minute break. Once that is over you go to the office and fill our paper work. Once in a while you and the others have to take physical to make sure you stay in shape and you're not slaking off. If you get lower then a 90 percent then you get fired. That is, if you are chief. If you are just a regular police officer you need at least a 70 percent. But, being the son of the Uchiha Prodigy, you should be chief."**

"... Yeah... I didn't listen to a word you said..."

**"... Hn..."**

_**Few Minutes Later**_

"Wow Tai! You look nice today! Huh? Oh thanks! You look awesome too!"

**"Why is our son talking to himself?**

_"I don't know..."_

"Oh! Ur eyes are shiny today! Really? I haven't noticed, but your eyes are wonderful today too!"

**"Is our son turning gay? I mean, I'm not against gay's, but seriously...?"**

_"Maybe..."_

_**At The Uchiha Police Station**_

**"678, 679, 700---"**

"6, 100, 49, 30!!!"

**"---31, 32... Oh, come on!"**

"Hehehehehe..."

_**Fifteen Minutes Later**_

**"887, 888, 889, 900---"**

"1, 6, 55, 93, 81!!!"

**"---82, 83, 84..."**

**Sigh.**

**"That's the fourth time today I've counted how many files I have..."**

"That sucks."

_**At The Uchiha's Home**_

"Mom!"

_"Yes Tai?"_

"That apple juice in your room tasted good!"

_"What apple juice?"_

"The apple juice on your dresser."

_"... That... wasn't... oh Kami... SASUKE!"_

**"What?"**

"Tai drank the poison on my dresser!"

**"I told you to not leave your poison laying around!"**

_**One Hour Later**_

Grabs phone.

"Hello? Hold on. Dad!"

**"What?"**

"Orochimaru called. He said he wants his virginity back."

**"?!?!?!?!?!?!"**

"Well... Today was fun!!! Bye!"


	10. Chapter 10 Final Chapter, Or Is It?

**"Sasuke."**

_"Sakura."_

"Tai."

_**---**_

**"..."**

_"..."_

"..."

**"Well..."**

_"This is the end."_

"Yeah."

**"What should we do after this chapter?"**

_"Well, I'm staring in another story."_

"What about me?! Hell! This is the last time people will ever see me!!!"

"Actually..."

**"Who are you?"**

_Gasp._

_"You don't know who THIS is?!"_

**"No..."**

"Yeah, who is she?"

"I'm Tabby Luvs blah blah blah. Why is my name so long? Just call me Tabby, that IS my real name after all."

**"What are you doing here?"**

_"Yeah, why are you here?"_

"Huh?"

"Well, Tai said that this was the last time we were going to see him... well... that's a lie!"

_**"Huh?!"**_

"What do you mean?"

"I was thinking about making a sequel to this."

"YAYZ!"

"But... I need 30 reviews! It's May 17th today, which is the day I'm posting this. As long as I get 30 reviews, I don't care if it's December 19th 2010. I will still make a sequel."

**"That..."**

_"Is..."_

"AWESOME!!!"

"Yeah, I thought so."

Giggles.

**"So what are we going to do for this chapter?"**

_"Not sure."_

"I used up all of my funny last chapter."

"Well, I have practice and a birthday party to get too! Bye!"

Leaves.

**"Hn..."**

"Wow! This was the fastest story that Tabby Luvs blah blah blah(I put the blah blah blah because I can't seem to remember the order I put the names.) has ever made!!!"

_"That's right!"_

**"What new story are you working in Sakura?"**

_"A War That Changed Her Life."_

"What is it about?"

_"Here's the summary._

_Every village attacked Suna and Leaf. After a failed evacuation, Sakura is left alone. Can she pull through? Can she get through the lose of EVERYONE and EVERYTHING?"_

"Everyone dies?!"

**"I can't die!"**

_"Read the first chapter. It's not half bad."_

**"Ok."**

"OK! I WILL!"

_"Oh and Tabby was thinking about doing something cool. The first chapter has Gaara, right? Well she was thinking about doing the first three chapters in everyone's p.o.v. Not used with, 'I was walking down the street.' But with, 'Sakura was walking down the street. Alone. Everyone gone.' In toher words, not in first person. The first has Gaara and whatever it is he does up until the building accident. Should she write what happens to Sasuke and me? Because we aren't at the same place all the time. Different events happen."_

**"How about the readers review? But you have to mention something about a squeal if you want it to count for this story."**

"Yup! And sorry this isn't funny. We ran out of funny. The last chapter was funny at the end."

_Giggles. "Yeah."_

**"No it wasn't! Orochimaru didn't say that! We never even did what you guys think we did!"**

_"Is it me, or did that make no sense?"_

"It wasn't you."

**"Whatever."**

_**"Well we have to go! Bye!"**_

"If you want to see more of me then reveiw!!!"


End file.
